I'm so sorry about all this.

Nov 07, 2022 - 9:43AM

I once bought a submarine with the intention of turning it into a crazy golf venue. But it turned out to be sub-par.

May 27, 2022 - 10:05AM

What kind of car does a tomato drive?

A Volkswagen Passata.

Mar 24, 2022 - 2:14PM

I was recently cast in a recreation of the making of Terminator 2. I was set to play the guy who did the music, but someone pipped me to the post. They offered me the chance to be the stand-in for some shots. I turned it down because I didn't want to play second Fiedel.

Mar 21, 2022 - 3:36PM

I bought a Batsuit, but I'm far too fat for it. I'm going to send it back using Batman Returns.

Mar 21, 2022 - 11:16AM

What does a foot eat?


Mar 10, 2022 - 9:20PM

glassdoor.com should be renamed burnedbridge.com

Feb 20, 2022 - 11:45PM

I was recently approached by a guy who wanted to sell me a portion of Wadi Rumm, in Jordan, where David Lean filmed Lawrence of Arabia. I almost bought it, but it turned out to be far too expansive.

Feb 20, 2022 - 4:30PM

Penguins are just big ducks.

Feb 17, 2022 - 7:48PM

There's a remarkably subtle detail in Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace: some spray painted Epson inkjet cartridges attached to Anakin's bedroom wall. I think they were chosen because they looked futuristic. Curiously, George Lucas digitally removed the cartridges in the 2019 reissue. Apparently they weren't Canon.

Feb 13, 2022 - 8:26PM

What do obsessive-compulsive statisticians eat for breakfast?


Feb 09, 2022 - 9:04AM

You could make a sequel to both Quadrophenia and Con Air. It could be called Mod Cons.

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